… February – December 2018 – the final initiation process to get conscious…
I worked hard since February 2018 with the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle to get “rid” of the EGO. My intention was, to stay in the moment – an undeniable fact that this is the most important thing to be able to do as an actress. It became an obsession to me because I felt a huge resonance with Eckhart’s words. He told me the truth, and I suddenly remembered so many things that happened “to” me in the past and “for” me in the present moment. Events of fancy insights, enlightenments, and visions followed each other in short cycles. Visions about my Counterpart Twin Flame – I didn’t know at this point in time that he is my Mirror Soul.
All the hard work of freeing my mind led me in the end to the Twin Flame Journey. The more I became still the more I recognized. My Counterpart is like me, in my case a man, but he loves all the stuff I love, and so it’s obvious that he is an actor too.
It’s no coincidence that I followed his career since my youth and felt respect and sympathy towards him at all. For me, and not just for me, it was obvious that his eyes, his gaze had changed since the end of 2016. I saw love in them and that attracted me more and more to him – but I still had no idea why – and his permanent presence in my head, since 2016, was exhausting for me. And the fact of this permanently really strong growing intensity of feelings no matter how hard I tried to ignore him. All the mixed feelings, the visions, his strong presence in my dreams, his higher self talking to me during the day made me believe that I’m about to go crazy.
At this point in time I was the runner, he the chaser.
A huge age gap was the main issue. I continuously talked him out of my mind because it was a big problem for me – conditioned from past experiences I had to overcome. The other main issue was his name, and the role he plays in the physical world. And, the main – main issue was the point that I was in a relationship since nearly 13 years with the father of my kids – I always thought about him, he’s the one.
But the pull toward my dreams, acting, singing, Hollywood and Los Angeles has speeded up the process and called me, as well as my counterpart. I could hear him say “Do it! Leave him! You knew it from the beginning of your relationship that you’re not supposed to grow old with him. You’ll never get where you are meant to be if you stay with him. Follow your dreams! You know since 20 years that Los Angeles is the place where you belong.”
And then that one day came. The day of recognition. I gave up the resistance towards my Counterpart, and as I saw a particular picture on Instagram my whole body ignites. It felt like someone pulled the rug out from under my feet. I was on fire. I walked in deep love and happiness from that point in time – here is a picture of how it looks like. That was the kind of love I missed and was seeking my entire life. Even as he contacted me out of the blue, I still had no idea what the heck happened to and for me.
The Universe led me to the answers I needed and to the Twin Flame Journey. But between the awakening process to it and the knowledge about all this stuff happened a few events.
- I thought I am finally going crazy. Kind of “That’s it! You’re done! You’re officially crazy!”
- I began to get obsessed with my Counterpart – a painful but needed side effect.
- I began to purge the hell out of me – past, future, and any kind of conditioning, programming – or identification with people, places, and things.
- All remaining homies of the Egomind – they grew stronger, came up and brought me to hell and back consistently.
- I broke up two weeks before Christmas to help my Ex and myself to evolve and to learn what unconditional love is about.
- In the end, I had to let go of everything, even of my counterpart.
- I was able to pull myself out of the mud, to free myself fully and to start a new life.
- DNA changings.
- Kundalini rising.
… to be continued in … Happy purging!